BPD, finishing grad school, attention issues, and more!

It has been a whole year since I last wrote on this blog. Lots of emotions come up when I think of this: shame, grief, frustration, tiredness. Maybe more that I can’t think of (thank you to my new therapist, Rachael, for making me identify my emotions in literally any scenario). I was so excited when I started this whole thing, and I told myself I needed to be consistent lest it be another project that gets left behind. However, that is exactly what happened. I do have my excuses, though. This year, I finished grad school and became a professional librarian at a college! I was also diagnosed with ADHD and likely BPD (still working on this one). Things happened in my life this year that really kicked these two disorders into overdrive, and to be honest, I spent a lot of time watching my life from the outside, doing what I needed to do to stay on the path I needed without putting too much of myself into it. This is all to say that while I’m not happy with myself for letting this fall to the wayside, I give grace to myself knowing that I have the tools now to get where I want to be.

With all that going on in my life, I also just let social media get the best of me. The feelings of emptiness I felt were combatted with endless scrolling on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. I spent so much time wasting my time that I only read 18 books this year (19 if I finish the romance I’m reading later). I’m not one for New Years Resolutions (why wait until a new year to try to change, right?) But now that I have some free time off from work this week, it’s easier to see exactly how I want to be using the rest of my time going forward. I want this to be a space for me to talk about books and my life as a librarian. It’s what I originally intended to do with this blog, but I really want to commit to it this time. I think I have the tools and the time now. I think I can.

Not everything was bad this year, though! I got engaged, my fiancé and I adopted the sweetest senior dog, I love my job, and we moved into a new house! This was a scary year for me mentally, but I am very lucky to have the life I do, and I am excited to be able to fully enjoy it.

I won’t dwell on the amount of books I read (it’s not a competition anyway!!!), but I will share my favorites in no particular order from this year. Hopefully it will inspire my reading for 2024.

THE MERCIES BY KIRAN MILLWOOD HARGRAVE

Lesbians, 17th century Norway, witchcraft . . . what else could you need? That’s really all you need to know about this one.

FOURTH WING BY REBECCA YARROS

Unless you’ve been cut off from the book community for the last year, you know about this one. I sent my fiancé out for the sequel this year, and he was shocked by the amount of people who came up to him in the Barnes & Noble so excited for him to read it. This one is so hot. And the plot is good too, I GUESS 😉

LOVE, THEORETICALLY BY ALI HAZLEWOOD

I would read this woman’s grocery lists. I think I’ve said that before, too, but I doubly mean it now. I just love anything women in STEM so add in a hot romance–it’s like it was written just for me. If you like romance and haven’t read her yet, what the fuck are you doing?!?